Dr. Jiggybones and the Pink Dress

I have probably never told you about my friend, Dr. Jiggybones. He is not an actual medical doctor although his title implies as much. Truly his career is in the design of bridal dresses and formal wear, but because he is such a genius in the creation of these lovely dresses, we all just refer to him as a doctor. As a matter of fact, he designed and even skillfully crafted the lovely pale pink dress that Little Wife wore in her most recent wedding. I was there at her wedding, and I can honestly report that everybody joyfully gasped as she walked into the chapel and strolled down the aisle towards Big Man.

Most people don’t even realize that her dress was sewn together on an old fashioned sewing machine “like Grandma used to use.” It was powered by a treadle which Dr. Jiggybones operated with his feet. You just don’t see them like this anymore. Dr. Jiggybones prefers the treadle to any modern mode of sewing because he has better control of the speed and the direction of the needle on his old Singer sewing machine. And he is an expert so he would know about these things.

But what Dr. Jiggybones didn’t know about is this: the dress that he was designing for Little Wife would require a special arrangements of crossbeams above the sewing machine to allow for better balance of the soft silky material. The fabric was to be draped above the treadled machine and carefully fed into the presser foot feed dog and the extension table. It was a very unusual arrangement indeed, but he knew this would work beautifully for his client’s special needs.

Little Wife might be a diminuitive person, but she has the biggest dreams! And her biggest dream of all was to have her final wedding dress made of the rarest silken threads on earth. In fact, the fabric was barely woven together when Dr. Jiggybones began work on this small but elegant dress for Little Wife. The fresh silken threads were even still a little damp from the caterpillar! Believe it or not!

Well, in his rush to install the crossbeams for this very special gown, Dr. Jiggybones took some shortcuts. Thinking that this was only a temporary arrangement for this special dress only, he didn’t quite tighten the bolts on the ends of the beams above the sewing machine. He really should have been more diligent about this, and if Little Wife had known of his carelessness before hand, she would have been quite upset with Dr. Jiggybones.

He was sewing rather quickly, attaching the back of the dress to the sides of the dress and the cascading front of the dress to the shoulders of the dress. Suddenly the antique sewing machine gave a roar like a machine gun firing into a sniper nest! The fabric was sucked into the extension table and the sewing machine began racing through the delicate fabric — the treadle was completely out of control and Dr. Jiggybones shouted in surprise, “Holy mackerel, what the heck is going on here?” His wife came running into the room because of all the noise and the shouting. She looked up towards the ceiling and saw that the crossbeams draped with soft pink silk were completely askew!

“Quick! Stop the treadle! The dress will be ruined! HELP ME please help me, Millie!” Dr. Jiggybones leaped up and threw his arms around the fabric which was falling in sheets around the sewing machine. “The dress! The dress! We must save the dress!” His wife gathered up the pieces of sewn dress which had fallen down onto the treadle in all the chaotic excitement. She held up the nearly finished dress and examined it for damage. “Oh no. Oh dear. What shall we do? What will become of us if this dress is damaged?” Dr. Jiggybones was simply beside himself in anxiety and panic as he also examined the lovely dress for rips or mangled threads.

But the Lord was with Dr. Jiggybones that day. The final wedding dress for Little Wife turned out beautifully without a stitch out of place. And having learned his lesson, it was the last time Dr. Jiggybones would let the crossbeams get out of skew on the treadle.

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March 2023