Christmas Shopping with Little Wife

A long time ago, before Little Wife had shrunk down so much, she enjoyed her career in marketing (which everybody knows is just a modern term for advertising), and way back then, she was tall enough to ride the train from her suburb all of the way into the Big City.

Though she was still a country girl at heart, Little Wife had watched the Mary Tyler Moore Show a few times, and she knew that with a little bit of luck and a lot of spunk, she could be a Big City girl.

So Little Wife rode the train everyday to her workplace, and it was so magical to be doing these things all by herself.  Commuting, riding elevators, negotiating busy intersections, eating French fries at lunch time and people watching.  Little Wife marveled at her rich new life.

At the same time, Little Wife realized that living and working in the Big City was quite costly.  Her little job at the very prestigious marketing agency paid very little, as she was a rather smallish woman.  Only the biggest and tallest and loudest people were paid big bucks here in the city.

But Little Wife had a great heart, and didn’t let these things get her down.  She always found her way around the many obstacles that confronted her.

“I would like to apply for a charge card,” she requested of the sales lady at the glamorous department store near her office.

“Well, of course, you would,” replied the snooty woman behind the counter.  “Are you employed?  You seem a little short.”  And the lady handed Little Wife an application for credit. “And are you married?  We would appreciate if you would include your husband’s financial information on the application as well.  I’m sure he has a very large credit score.”

“Oh yes, he does!”  Little Wife was very happy to include financial information about Albert Beevus Sebring the Third on her application because Albert had many many credit cards.  His name would be well-known to the Approvers of Credit Card Applications.

In just a few minutes, Little Wife was finished and handed the papers back to the hoity toity store clerk who, by the way, was wearing three inch heels and towered over her counter and over Little Wife as well.  “Thank you,” she said to Little Wife and walked to the back of the store to discuss this with her supervisor.

Little Wife always made the best use of her time.  She always said, “Life is short, make the most of your minutes.”  So she began to shop for Christmas gifts for all of her family and also for Albert.  Only the prettiest items this year, only the most precious jewelry and scarves for her loved ones.  Little Wife was quite certain that her charge card would soon be approved, perhaps in a matter of minutes.

And so within the hour, Little Wife finished her Christmas shopping.  One by one she carried her treasures, all priceless, to the counter until she had crossed everyone off her list.  Filled with happy satisfaction, she looked over her gifts.

There was the Ralph Leerin silk shirt for Albert, a lovely rich burgundy color with large collars.  He would love it so!  And for Mother, she had picked a sparkly diamond tennis bracelet.  Mother loved diamonds and Little Wife had never been able to give them before today.  A complete set of Fostoria dessert dishes for her loving Grandma.  Three pairs of wool blend socks for her brother, styled by Repossi in Italy from the softest lambs on the planet.  And for her sweet sister, the most wonderful gift on the table, golden leather shoes with golden buckles.  She knew that shoes mattered to Lisa Marie, so she had found the shiniest ones in the store.

Needless to say, price tags were of no consequence to Little Wife on that day!

The tall and arrogant sales lady finally returned to her counter, beaming brightly as she handed the newly-minted charge card to Little Wife.  “Congratulations, Little Wife,” she intoned from her dizzying heights. “You have been awarded an extremely high credit limit of $75,000.  We hope that you have enjoyed your shopping experience here at O Magnus.  Here, let’s add up your purchases now and send you on your Merry way.”  And she said this, of course, because it was the Christmas season.

Little Wife could not believe her good fortune!  Certainly being married to Albert Beevus Sebring the Third was a great blessing, and this high credit limit was definitely the proof.  She smiled from ear to ear as the woman finished bagging up all of the gifts for her loved ones.

And as she carried the very large, stuffed to the top designer shopping bags down the avenue and back to her office to finish her work for the day, Little Wife looked at the receipt from O Magnus and said to herself, “All of these wonderful gifts for only $74,999!  Oh Merry Christmas and God bless us everyone.”



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