I know this will come as a very big surprise to my readers, but occasionally Mother Goose and Mr. Mother Goose disagree. Perhaps in your home, there are occasional disagreements as well… I do not wish to dwell much on the conversation except to say that it was concerning the issue of opening upstairs windows during these mild winter days. (A quiet note: Mother Goose is in favor of opening windows…)
Unfortunately, this discussion happened as we were leaving for one of those many restaurant meals I described yesterday, so there was no easy way to resolve the conflict without making a regrettable scene and going to a lunch with sourness in our hearts and mouths. So Mother Goose simply prayed silently as they drove down the expressway. With my beak opening and closing, but with no sound coming out, Mother Goose “stayed good”. Sometimes, Mother Goose talks to herself without saying a word as you’ll witness in the next paragraph.
“The Lord is my shepherd,
(Mr. Goose is not my shepherd…)
I shall not want.
(Sometimes he is so aggravating…)
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
(The upstairs bedrooms are way too warm for sleeping…)
He leads me beside the still waters,
(I’d like to dump a cup of water over his head…)
He restores my soul.
(I’d like to show Mr. Goose the sole of my webbed foot sometimes…)
He leads me along paths of righteousness,
(It is righteous to allow some fresh air into the house in February…)
for the glory of His name.
(It’s a glorious day outside, perfectly fine to open the windows…)
Even though I walk
(Yes, I feel like getting out of this car and walking right now…)
through the valley
(My life is one big valley…)
of the shadow of death,
(The stuffy air is going to kill me…)
I will fear no evil,
(The stuffy air is so evil…)
for You are with me.
(Jesus, at least YOU love me…)
Your rod and your staff
(Maybe if I hit Mr. Goose with a stick, he’ll listen to me…)
They comfort me.
(It’s not very comfortable when it’s 90 degrees in the bedroom…)
You prepare a table before me
(When we get to the restaurant, I’m ordering the most expensive thing…)
in the presence of my enemies.
(Maybe Mr. Goose will be nicer when we get there…)
You anoint my head with oil
(Maybe if I dump oil on his head, he’ll listen to me…)
and my cup overflows.
(I think I need a large glass of wine…)
Surely mercy and goodness will follow me
(Mom always said, ‘kill ‘em with kindness’)
all the days of my life.
(Cheez, we’ve been married less than two years…)
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
(And I know the Lord will let me keep the windows open sometimes.)
Well, dear and gentle readers, please rest assured that Mother Goose and Mr. Mother Goose got it all worked out. I’m happy and honking to report that he has come to an understanding that what’s good for the goose IS good for the gander.